How to Troll (part 1 of the English vs. Engrish series)

TROLLING 101 WITH MOCHI (ahahahaha)

Note: This only applies to trolling in Empire – different sites will have different trolls. BE PREPARED. XD

Trolling gets a really bad reputation on the Internet these days. It’s not hard to see why; trolls anger people, make them irritated, and when asked for a reason why, they simply answer “for the lulz” or something along the lines of that. This post isn’t to ENCOURAGE people to troll, it’s just that when people don’t troll correctly (and don’t get me wrong, there are MANY ways to troll; this post is just listing a few), they become even larger targets of trolling. Thus you could say, this post is to “protect” people from being targeted by trolls.

Basic trolling can be organized into these categories:

1.) Smart-Alec Trolling

Smart-Alec trolling is exactly what it sounds like; being a smart-alec and picking at tiny details. The end result will usually be a very very irritated opposition. The trolling targets several of these points:

  • Typos: Typos are the easiest mistake to target. “Don’t luagh at me!” —> “Luagh? Pardon me, but I haven’t encountered the word ‘luagh’ before. Would you care to give me a definition?”
  • Logical Fallacies: Circular arguments work best here – drag the ideas around until they don’t know what they’re talking about. 
  • Vocabulary/Grammar: “Their vs. They’re vs. There” somebody’s bound to get it wrong some time. 
  • ——->Whatever you think should be added<—–

2.) Insane Trolling (definitely not recommended) 

  • Swearing rants: Well, I’m not sure if I want to go into the very details of this troll. Just..let loose those strings of curse words. 
  • Spam: Who doesn’t appreciate a nice overload of messages? Recoding of JQuery and the like (depending on the chat).

3.) Sarcastic Trolling

  • Hormonal Teenager: I don’t mean to be stereotypical or anything – some teenagers are NOT affected by hormones – but hormonal teenagers do have the uncanny ability to get on your nerves (to the teenagers reading this post, it’s not your fault! It’s the pituitary 🙂 so don’t be offended). Anyhow, use aaalll that pent up sarcastic energy you had from your teenager years (or currently have) and use it here.  
  • ….Is there more to say about this topic? It’s just sarcasm – be FRESH. 

I HOPE that this lesson (XD the notion of teaching a lesson about trolling…I still haven’t quite gotten over that yet. *is currently in fits of laughter) if not “educational” has at least entertained you for the few minutes that you spent reading it. 😀 Comment/Follow!


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